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Wedding nightmare: 7 sure-fire ways to empty your dance floor

Nothing spells disaster during a wedding reception like an empty dance floor.

Wedding Reception Ballroom

Photo credit: http://dancedeck.com

It’s the stuff nightmares are made of — a celebration so dead that you can hear crickets chirping.

In the spirit of planning for the worst, we polled our Facebook friends, DJs and recent newlyweds to compile our 7 Sure-Fire Ways to Clear Your Wedding Dance Floor list:

#7 – Hire a DJ who talks too much. “At this particular moment in time, could you put your hands together and give it up for the parking valet hanging out in your car. ”

#6 – Tell the DJ to turn up the speakers as loud as they go. Never mind the fact that the Richter scale at the nearby college earth science lab is red-lining…Your guests will love the ear-splitting sub-woofers, we’re sure.

#5 – Stick with one genre all night long. I’m sure no one in the crows likes different genres?

#4 – Don’t pre-screen a DJ’s ability to blend, beat-match and scratch. Yes, wedding guests love being able to experience train wreck transitions – a.k.a., those poor mixes between songs that you never hear from a Scratch Weddings’ DJ.

#3 – Change gears faster than an 18-wheeler on a freeway entrance ramp. Book a DJ who says yes to a request from guests who want to hear a Viennese waltz and then cuts a Michael Jackson song short to crank up Johann Strauss.

#2 – Fail to read the crowd. The latest song prompted the feet of 100+ guests to go limp and a look of “are you on another planet? ” to flash across their faces.

#1 – Announce, “The bar’s closing in 10 minutes. “ Do we even need to explain this one? Give your guests a solid 30 minutes to get their last cocktail.